Everything but the kitchen sink!

cynical

ˈsɪnɪk(ə)l/ (adjective)

1.    Believing that people are motivated purely by self-interest; distrustful of humans.

"She was severely cynical and hardened to all repeat offenders"

 I am a Christian.

 I am cynical.

 I am imperfect. 

There I said it! You did not read wrong when you landed on the home page and read the words, “Whimsical rhetoric from a cynical mind...”

 I choose not to sugar coat (wait that remind me, I really need to add sugar to the grocery list before I’m fired by the kids! Lol!) Where was I? Oh yes sugar coating, I choose not to do that and just tell it as it is about who I am and wearing my heart on my sleeve by being honest in this space is the result. 

#NewsFlash – NO ONE is Perfect – and my imperfection is cynicism from years of what I can only describe as abusive relationships - Not physical abuse but I think emotional and psychological abuse is right up there in the really awful things you shouldn’t do to people list!  I am talking about a list of violations from the seemingly small ones of a colleague always ducking out of doing overtime and saying, “well Jo is single, she has nothing better to do this weekend”, to the parents taking sides when I fought with a sibling growing up to corruption and inconsistent national policy…I could go on… 

Over and over again, HUMANS FAIL! (Myself included) and therefore I am distrustful of humans and their ability to be sincere… You should have seen me when my husband proposed… I laughed! I didn’t believe that a man would actually do right by me and well he is an exception but the rule remains, we are selfish as people and self-interest trumps doing the right thing (pun intended! Lol!) I am however aspiring to write myself into a better place regarding the cynic in me… 

So this is not me saying that I will be tearing people apart and focusing on proving myself right for being a cynic on this blog and I am excused because I am flawed, No. I am saying that it is going to be a journey from cynicism to whatever the opposite of cynicism is… 

I am also sure that offenses will come along during that journey which will create detours and setbacks, roadblocks and potholes that I will need to be navigated around but I am determined to try and be honest no matter what so here we go!

Fika

I love age old traditions that are rich in culture and designed to bring people together. I particularly enjoy those that are grounded in the ‘breaking of bread’ (which basically means anything that involves food! Lol!). Hang on I have a reason beyond gluttony for this preference, food and drink are basic needs but soul food goes that one step further to warming the heart while nourishing the body and all the more so if shared with others.

Being from the African continent I can identify a few “food focused” traditions that are inspired from this premise, the Braai (BBQ) being one of the most important (because meat is a critical element to soul food if you are African!). There is nothing like laughs shared around an open fire be it at the Gotch Gotch spot or a posh upmarket venue to bring people closer together. And whilst I am a firm meat loving African,  I have to say that my travels across Europe have inspired me to appreciate a different kind of ‘food focused” tradition, if you are English you would call it High Tea but if you are from mainland Europe you would call it FIKA! The subtle difference between the two is that Fika needs no occasion, it can happen at any time anywhere just add coffee and something sweet if you have a sweet tooth!

I first had Fika in 2015 as I travelled in Europe and met some awesome Swedes... "Fika is considered a social institution in Sweden” the idea of dropping whatever you are doing (including switching off your technology) in order to have a coffee with a colleague or a friend, even family – Giving and getting that affirmation of attention and time investment, its priceless.

 I prefer the concept of Fika to that of the English High Tea because the former suggests no pomp and ceremony, no overproduction and status, simply the act of togetherness and genuine and honest interaction. 

A reminder that life is indeed time and time well spent is time invested in others, those you love being at the top of that list….

Let’s share Fika sometime…sometime soon…

Mindset shift

Most people think that weight loss is something that happens in the kitchen or gym however long before you get there you need to be resolved in your mind that things need to change and change permanently...this is what is called a lifestyle change. Your lifestyle is made up of habits you form over time, for example, if Fridays is girls night out and you drink until the bar is dry or if you have to have a bar of chocolate when you go to the shops, that is a lifestyle habit. A collection of these habits will result in good or bad health. 

The first step to change is to be honest with yourself,  identify the bad habits you have that are contributing to bad health and obesity and then one by one start to change these. It is also important to identify  the habits you have that are good and to build on these.

I remember going through this process of self-introspection which for me took several months as I was not aware at the time that this is what I was doing. I just remember being unwell and unhappy and feeling heavy... My worst habits included not drinking water, not eating breakfast, not having a good nights sleep, not exercising at all, I would even complain if my husband parked 200 metres from the entrance of a shopping mall... I had issues. What I didn't do was indulge in loads of junk which made the changes I needed to make with my diet that much easier but the change was nevertheless a big one.

Over a period of 12 weeks I started making changes, small changes, most of them were in my mind, my views on food, my views on drinking water, my views on my body and self-image and my views on exercise. I slowly started removing bad habits like not drinking water or eating breakfast and replaced them with good habits including drinking water daily, eating breakfast cutting out sugar and getting 7-8hours of sleep most nights.

They say it takes a minimum of 21 days to form a new habit and 66 days for it to become automatic therefore giving yourself 90 days to change your negative behaviours into positive ones is not procrastination rather it is scientifically proven to be a necessary period for change and adjustment, so be kind to yourself and take the time to go on the journey of mindset shift and mental transformation which is critical before any physical transformation can take place sustainably.

Recharge

I was so used to being wound up so tight that I could have given tiger a run for his money! STRESS is Insane!!!!!! - Its real - It can make you sick - It can kill you! I learnt this the hard way when one random January day my body shut down basically. 

Before that day I drank seven (7) cups of coffee a day, STRONG coffee, didn't eat before 11am, and when I did I ate whatever I could find. I would also wait for what sometimes could be hours outside shopping malls for a parking space as close to the entrance as possible. I wouldn't cook, slept maybe three or four hours a day and well in a nutshell I was a HOT MESS!

That day my world stopped.

For a moment I thought I was dying... My chest was tight, my breathing laboured and I had lost all motor function - It was insane! After being delivered to the emergency room and being unceremoniously pushed down a long dreary corridor in a wheelchair by a chap who looked more like a rough and tough 'bar brawler' than a hospital orderly, (you simply just can’t get the help these days!) I was eventually poked and prodded by a nurse who I'm sure had seen better days and then by a doctor who looked very green around the ears (young and inexperienced I mean). 

Dr Greeny (no not his name of course this is Africa! His real name is probably close to Eddy Murphy's name in Coming to America than it is to 'greeny' however I cannot remember his name, I am not the best with names you see...) Anyway, Greeny gave me nothing! Zero, Zilch, Nada - Like seriously!?! I thought as I tried ever so hard not to glare at him! 'HELLO!!! I'm dying here' I wanted to yell at him! But I was just too weak to give it the delivery it required to carry any weight... So yes he did nothing except refer me to a 'specialist physician' and send me away. 

Of course by that point hubby had arrived and I was to be fair feeling better tho totally knackered and somewhat out of it desiring sleep above all else. So grudgingly I agreed to leave...

After a series of intrusive questions much like Inspector Clouseau interrogating a suspect than a doctor’s interview; and a whole bunch of tests later, the 'specialist physician announced my condition!

STRESS! 

He literally said and I repeat, verbatim, "All your tests are clear, I think you are Stressed and it doesnt help that you are over weight...You need to relax and get some exercise in"

As I stared at him whilst trying ever so inconspicuously to pick my jaw off the floor and compose myself, I managed to mutter, "Can you give me something for that?" As the words were flowing out of my mouth I could feel myself willing them back as I realised I should have said something more appropriate like, "Can I see your degree paperwork?" or "What university did you say you went to again?" or even better, "What are you smoking!?!" 

STRESS???????? 

Well heck I am stressed NOW I thought as I nodded trying not to be obviously checked out of the conversation, after all we were discussing my health... 

Stress.... Really????

Note how I didn't argue about obesity, its not like I couldn't see and feel the weight on me...and so my weight loss journey began...

Green Tea.

By now you may have gathered that this blog is themed around my steamy hot passionate love affair with coffee. It’s almost presenting as a visual ode to all coffee addicts everywhere...almost... So where did green tea come from you may be thinking? Well if you could see me 'fill' a room you would appreciate the need for the insane detoxifying lifestyle I have adapted to shed a copious number of pounds that I certainly can no longer justify carrying around. 

One would be forgiven for thinking that the cynic in me had driven me to eat myself into two just so I would feel I have a friend to go about with every day! 

OK the real story is I had a baby... and just as I was getting used to the idea of having one and some level of sanity was returning... I had another one! Stupid girl, I know... the folk tales about the horrors of having two children under five were not folk tales after all! But what they don’t tell you is how the process can leave you with a whole extra person on your tummy, hips, thighs, love handles and well don't let me get started on 'back-fat'! 

Where was I… Oh yes, a coffee addict on a ‘green tea’ tip! Sigh… All I am committing to at this point is to drink four cups of green tea a day and try to only have decaf coffee… TRY being the operative word here. AND this is a commitment I have made for three months only! If I don’t successfully shift a few pounds I shall prove all the health nuts around me WRONG! And with great vindication percolate to my heart’s content… I’ll drink to that!